Reported by Dermott McCallscreener

Barack Obama made a brief televised speech this morning that represented a focused, aggressive response to last night’s speeches at the Republican National Convention.

Standing on a low stage, with one hand placed dramatically on the handle of a baby carriage, Senator Obama spoke from the heart.

“Ladies and gentlemen, friends, countrymen…I, too, have children.”

He went on to say “Look at ‘em…they’re right there. Right over there. Kids. I made ‘em.”

Building to his oratorical climax, Obama asserted “These children are the result of a physical and emotional collaboration between my wife and myself”

“See that? Kids. I’ve got some. I am their father; they are my children”

After a pregnant pause, Obama said “Children. Mine. Kids. Father”

The crowd became apoplectic with emotion. Many of them linked Mr. Obama’s status as “a parent” with their own – recognizing in his calm leadership the fact that they, also, have children and are parents.

“My fellow Americans: children. Kids. Uh…God? Parenthood. Not the movie: the real deal. Youngins. Tykes. I’ve got some. You may have some of your own. And for that, I applaud you.”